I wish..........

I wish for people to be happy, to accept others for who they are inside, to not judge others, to love one another regardless of where they are from or what color their skin is or even how they act. I realize that all of that is ideal and more than likely will take many lifetimes to accomplish if it even happens at all. Still..........it's nice to have that dream.

God loves us all............

People who do not think that He exists, people who commit crimes against humanity, people who take others lives away from them, people who do not follow every literal meaning of the commandments, people who do not follow what the Bible teaches, people who are of different cultures and race, people who are fanatical about their beliefs in Him, people in general....God loves us all. It doesn't matter who I list, or how I list them.....He loves us all because we are His. You can agree or disagree with this post, but I love God and I am not ashamed or afraid to let that be known. We, the world I mean, need to find tolerance within ourselves to respect how others believe, regardless of how they do. Who are we to say that how someone else believes is wrong?

To Blog or not to Blog?

I have no idea why that is in my title, "to blog or not to blog?". Just thought it sounded funny. Several realizations have come to me in the last two days. None of which are really stopping me from stressing out, but once you acknowledge something, sometimes it takes a minute for your brain to stop worrying about it. At least, for my brain it does. I think and worry about something until I have a headache and I am stressed out about it. The worst part is that I am totally conscious of the fact that I am doing that. You know that old saying, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time......."? Weeeeelllll.............
Some would say that is actually what I am doing. I would have probably said it myself. However, I have been thinking about it for a while now and I have come to wonder quite seriously if in fact the saying is actually more like this, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time............and then realizing that it doesn't matter because if you think that you are perfectly sane then in fact your expectation different things happening over and over again would not matter anyway".
Yeah, I like that better. Everyone have a great weekend!!!

a picture is worth how much?

Pictures have always been a way to show how things happened in the past or a memory we want to capture. People take them to display their families and friends, to show how we looked then and how the styles have changed, etc.
I don't like them that much. I get the eerie feeling sometimes that too many pictures, too many captured memories on film are kind of like a sort of karma working against me. Seems like the many glimpses we have into the past are slightly disturbing in some cases. Crime scene photos for instance. It is disturbing to have so many pictures of something horrible happening to someone. Why do we want to keep looking at that? I guess my view is kind of an aboriginal view, at least from what I understand. I feel like taking a picture takes something away from the person. Of course, I am part American Indian and Irish, so could be I am just extra superstitious........maybe...........

Mind boggling.............

I suppose we have all heard about the DNA testing that has been used lately to close old crimes that were open. They also help to get people out of jail that were falsely arrested in the first place. Here is my issue with these false arrest issues that keep happening. There are too many people who get arrested for the wrong crime because of the color of their skin or their nationality. You cannot give back twenty years that someone gave of their life to spend in prison for something they did not do. It frustrates me to the point of screaming for these people who have been dealt this hand just because of circumstantial evidence or the fact that they were the most likely suspect and many things point to them being guilty so it's obviously them. Just because you may look guilty, doesn't mean you are. Even worse is having virtually no evidence, but blaming the crime on someone because they do not fit into the peg that someones preconceived notions have fit them into. How do you apologize for that? How do you say: "Mr. Jones, we are sorry we have held you in prison for the last 20+ years for something you did not do, please understand that if we could fix it we would." without sounding like a complete a$$? I know we are supposed to forgive and forget, and I suppose eventually one would have to in order to move on in life and grow as a person. I could go even further with that and say that we never know how long we have and even though this person lost 20 years, surely because of good karma finally being on their side they would have a good life of many years because of loosing 20 years in the first place. I could say that everyone has something to deal with in life and this was what that person had to deal with. I could say that, but I won't. Simply because it makes me angry that people are still getting put into jail for things they did not do. And even with modern science the way it is, we still have small-minded morons in charge who refuse to understand the concept that we are not guilty because of our nationality until proven innocent but are innocent no matter what nationality we are until proven guilty with actual proof. Okay, I am off the soapbox. Next?!

another week of school over.............

I don't know about anyone else, but I am glad that I am here now and doing so well with school. I feel like I understand everything that I have to do and that it is coming easily to me. Of course, a feeling of complete complacency is not always a great idea. To me, that leads to something inevitably happening that throws you off your tracks. SO, my plan is to make myself aware of everything that still needs to be done, as well as give myself extra work. I figure that will keep me in perspective. Since we all have so much work to do before the end of this semester, I think that the earlier we start to finish everything, the better off we are. I just hope I don't get ahead of myself. As you can tell by my previous posts, I think way too much.........I think I get myself in trouble that way........

.....the realization that things are not always what they seem.......

Surely you have been going along in your daily life, convinced that all is well and suddenly discovered that "things are not always what they seem"? That happened to me this week. As if "while I was sleeping I hit my head" week was not enough.
Recently I had become aware of things involving my job and my position in the company that are apparently leading me down the road that I do not want to go. My manager has decided that I am going to be mentored by her for a management position. I am to learn all that she knows, which I already know quite a bit. I have to take over and run the place when she is on vacation, which I pretty much already do. So okay, no biggie, it's not like I don't know how to do almost everything and don't do practically all of it anyway.
Here is where the confusing, disconcerting thing comes in. When did I ever say that I would want to take, learn, do, or even try for the insanity of a management position? I have no issue with staying where I am now because I am going to school for something totally different. I have racked my brains for the indication that I might have given that I would want a management career and I can't figure it out. I am going to school and have made it clear that I don't plan on staying on once I get a position with a company that is geared towards my program of study. My manager and I had actually talked a few weeks ago about how I would be crazy to go into a higher position because of what I planned to do after I finished school. So I have no idea what is going on, and I cannot stand that. I have decided that I have slipped into an alternate universe and I am actually taking business classes for management. It doesn't explain why I carry around my anatomy and physiology book, or why I continue to study from it or that I look forward to learning more medical things or that my ideal career is writing, but I could find an explanation for that too. I mean, things are literally not what they seem to be so, why not?

so while I was sleeping I hit my head..............

You ever hear bits and pieces of a story that someone is telling someone else and instantly fill in the rest of it (in your head, of course) with your own ending. I tend to do that alot. It comes out quite funny, sometimes disturbing, sometimes spiritual, and sometimes just plain weird. The ending usually depends on what kind of mood I am in. I have a very vivid imagination, unfortunately, so my mind tends to explore things that I would rather be left unexplored.
Anyway, the point of this is, for those of you who understand, I am posting this late for Unit 3 blog post because of my story that happened to me on Sunday. Which leads to the title of my post, "so while I was sleeping I hit my head". It is a normal thing for me to hit some part of me on something because I am a natural born klutz. However, I have never whacked my head while I was sleeping, then later fell asleep, then later was woken up and had a horrible headache, nausea, and was dizzy. Then I went to the hospital because everyone kept telling me to and my blood pressure was sky high because of my horrible headache and then they did a cat scan and my brain is still there...................now it's Saturday night on February 27th, 2010 and I am just barely beginning to feel a tiny bit normal.
Fun times, fun times. You never know what you do while you are sleeping until you wake up with a sharp pain..................
So,
while I was sleeping,
I hit my head..................

another day gone by..................

It has been a long but successful day as I try to complete as much of my schoolwork as possible. I feel elated that I have started early in the week and have committed to making this work for me and not against me. It's different for me this time, I can feel that something has changed. I attribute it to my trust in God, that He will help me through no matter what I have to go through. I have a renewed faith, and I feel that is showing in my actions not only at school, but also at work. I hope everyone knows that no matter how difficult life seems, you have no where to go but up as long as you believe in yourself and trust that God will be there for you.

Music and Me, and you too.

What is the reason that you enjoy music? Is it the sound, the beat, the way it makes you tap your feet? Is it how it makes you feel when you hear it? Does some of the songs you hear make you cry or make you irritated? For me, any song seems to lift my spirits and I sing along. It's not even the words. Most of the time it's the music behind the words. I don't like everything, but I will sing along to anything. It is annoying at times, especially when I don't care for the song. I don't why I do it. It drives me crazy, but I do it any way.
My main enjoyment is the sound. When I hear music, it is like it fills something in me that I didn't know was missing. We can't have music at work, which really throws me off, but when I get in my car to go home, I take the longer route home so that I can listen to my favorite songs that help to settle me. Everyone has an explanation to what music does for them. What does music give to you?

.......and you thought it was going to be easy?

Life is never easy or fair. Let's just put that out there. We hear it all the time, so it can't hurt to be said again, right?
Wrong. I say that it is too easy and too simple to phrase it that way. It's a cop out. I say that if we have worked hard and fought hard and struggled and put up with too much and argued and given more of ourselves than we ever thought we could that we shouldn't say life is never easy. Or unfair.
What we should say is: "As a woman, I have been given this task before me to accomplish, and as a person, I am going to complete it come hell or high water. I am not going to take the easy road because I won't become a statistic of failure. I will become a positive influence, not a negative one, and I will make my impression on others a good one. I have strength, I have influence, I have power, I have a voice, and I will be heard!"
You see, life was never meant to be uncomplicated or unbiased, that is why it's called Life.